Children need feedback on the work they do. But how can we provide feedback most effectively? Conventional wisdom would espouse that constant praise is necessary in our child-rearing… but is it really the most effective way to provide that much-needed feedback?
There is actually new research that would indicate that constantly praising our children is backfiring and even undermining their confidence! Praise, by definition, is an expression of worth, approval, or admiration. It is usually given to a child when a task or deed is well done or completed. In an article entitled “Encouragement or Praise for Children?” written by Elvin Klassen (written as a resource for parents teaching overseas), the author suggests that encouragement , rather than praise, should be our goal as parents and educators.
Encouragement in its best form should be specific, focused on the process rather than the finished product, sincere, focused on the effort made, non-comparative, and enabling the child to develop an appreciation for his own achievements. For example, instead of “Sally, you’re such a nice girl” – encouragement would say “Sally, I noticed you shared with Molly today.” Remember, praise gives a value judgment and focuses on the person, while encouragement makes an observation about a behavior. We need to convey through words and gestures that we appreciate our child’s efforts and improvement, not just their accomplishments
